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Reggie Online: The Official Reginald Perrin web site
Scene-by-Scene Guide, including DVD Captures Gallery
Series Three, Episode Six
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| Episode
6:
Scene 1: Reggie is on the doorstep where a Mrs. E. Blythe-Erpingham is presenting Reggie with a 1,276-strong petition of signatures against the presence of the Perrins community in the area. She insists there is nothing personal in it, and Reggie tells her there is nothing personal in what he is about to do, either. He rips the petition up in front of her and throws the pieces over her head. Reggie shuts the door in her face. |
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| Scene 2: Reggie feels he needs a breather from Perrins, as it is getting him down. He goes to the George & Dragon pub where a sour-faced barman is looking out from behind his bar to almost empty tables. Reggie orders a beer, and the barman moans that the sunny weather is bad for his trade. Reggie calls him a miserable, mean, petty-minded twit and walks out. He storms across the road in front of a police car, which is forced to stop abruptly. |
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| Scene 3: Back home, Elizabeth is updating the rosters for the day, when Reggie returns. He is sarcastic and rude, apologises to her and goes into his office. Tom is already there, writing him a note. He is making a complaint about the adult stories that McBlane the chef has been telling to his children Adam and Jocasta. Reggie says he will deal with it. |
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| Scene 4: Still in a bad mood, Reggie confronts McBlane in the kitchen. Reggie is abrupt but McBlane starts wielding his kitchen knives again, and Reggie mellows. He gets his point across and McBlane mumbles something derogatory in return, were it intelligible enough to understand. Reggie says he can talk English if he tried and goads him by calling him a 'mobile bandage emporium', a 'pock-marked Caledonian loon' and a 'diseased thistle from Partick'. McBlane confronts Reggie with a rather large meat cleaver, and Reggie leaves. |
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| Link: A gang of youths are tossing a pile of dead leaves all across a local pavement, just as Jimmy's Expeditionary Force comes round the corner. Jimmy and his troops see them off, but little do they know what they have started. | |
| Scene 5: In his office, Reggie is on the phone to the police. McBlane, upset at Reggie's retorts, has broken the arm of a Salvation Army lady when she tried to sell him The War Cry. Reggie is being asked to bail him out, and says it was probably his fault for calling McBlane all those names. Elizabeth is very worried, and asks him if he is trying to destroy himself again, as he did at Sunshine Desserts and Grot. Reggie says no. |
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| Scene 6: McBlane is in his kitchen but is reading the paper. The headline reads 'Perrin Meat Cleaver Scandal'. Reggie enters and sacks him, blaming him for the bad publicity that has resulted in forty guests leaving. He gives him a 'golden handshake', a cheque for £1,000. |
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| Scene 7: Next day, the newspaper headline reads 'Sacked For One Blunder Accuses Perrin Chef'. McBlane is back in his kitchen. Reggie enters sheepishly and welcomes the chef back. He asks the chef for the return of his 'golden handshake', but McBlane starts to inspect the blades of his knife collection threateningly. Reggie changes his mind and tells him he can have it as a bonus for his excellent cooking. |
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| Scene 8: Reggie goes back into his office where Doc Morrissey is waiting for him. He has 'invented' a colourless, tasteless liquid that, he claims, will revive the confidence in the staff and provide, by chemical means, all the good that Perrins is trying to achieve. Reggie is enthusiastic until Doc tells him that he invented it himself. |
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| Scene 9: At the next staff meeting, Doc Morrissey is extolling the virtues of his magic potion and has bottles of it on a table. Everyone is sceptical about trying it, and Reggie asks if it has been tested, and on what. Doc says it has only been tested on HB pencils, as he didn't have any animals. Everyone is sarcastic with the Doc, asking if the pencils showed a marked lack of aggression as a result. In the end, they all agree to try it, with a dose of half a glass each. |
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| Scene 10: The dining room is all set for lunch, but all the guests, and all but four of the staff have gone down with a violent bout of dysentery. Tony is present, but soon has to rush off to the toilet, and Jimmy follows in his wake, leaving the Doc and Reggie. He blames the Doc's potion for the outbreak of illness, but Doc says that it is impossible, as the liquid was only tap water. But still, Reggie thinks that with Doc Morrissey's reputation as a hopeless medic, everyone has persuaded themselves that his potion must make them ill, 'mass auto-indigestion' as the Doc agrees to call it. Reggie prefers 'hysterical dysentery'. Either way, the Doc soon succumbs to the virus himself and rushes off. McBlane enters with a tray of desserts and spies the empty dining room. He is so dumbfounded he asks Reggie, in perfect English, what is wrong with his food. Reggie is triumphant at hearing McBlane say something understandable, but soon has to rush off to the toilet as well. |
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| Scene 11: Reggie is in a bad mood again, and goes off to the pub. There, he bumps into his old employee, the Irish genius Seamus Finnegan. They get chatting, and Reggie tells him about his community. Seamus is horrified, as he has heard there are plans afoot to take revenge on the community for its peace-keeping force. Seamus has heard that Saturday is the day the threats will be carried out. |
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| Scene 12: At an urgent staff meeting, Reggie informs everyone of the threats to the community and decides to appoint a leader to co-ordinate their defence. Much to C.J.'s chagrin, he appoints Jimmy. David Harris-Jones doesn't like the idea of fighting and gets up to leave. Reggie persuades him that he is really leaving to fetch Prue back from her mother's to help in the fighting, and David reluctantly agrees. |
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| Scene 13: Next day, the staff await Jimmy's plan. Jimmy enters, in full army uniform, later than planned as he had a bit of a cock-up on the back collar stud front. Before Jimmy reveals his plans, Reggie tells the staff that the remaining fourteen guests have been briefed on the situation, and have been given the choice of staying to fight or going home. Every single one of them has gone home. David has returned with Prue in tow. Jimmy's plan is to be in the garden, as the thugs will expect everyone to be indoors. Disguises of molehills and compost heaps are rejected, instead plumping for trees. |
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| Scene 14: At midnight, the staff of Perrins file into the garden, dressed as trees. A dog cocks his leg up Tony's costume, and Jimmy has fallen asleep. There is a collision of two cars in the road, and the staff walk down the garden path onto the pavement to investigate. The driver of one of the cars can't believe what he is seeing and swears a life of teetotalism from now on. |
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| Scene 15: The staff are in high spirits, having survived the night without any attacks. They are in the living room, and Joan is leading them in a rousing rendition of 'We Shall Not Be Moved'. They even seem to be enjoying Tom's rhubarb wine. C.J. decides to break his silence about his own secret project and brings out part of the manuscript of a novel he has written about ants. As he starts to read, there is a crash and a sound of breaking glass. The thugs have come. |
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| Link: An ambulance brings the staff of Perrins back to Oslo Avenue, after their attack. All of them are limping, some have their arms in plaster, some have bandages around their heads. |
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